Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I knew my love of pork products would one day bite me in the ass.

So just as everyone's forgetting about swine flu, heading back to school or work and laughing at how paranoid we all were just a few months ago, GUESS WHO MANAGES TO CATCH IT?


And because, you know, swine flu on its own is just lame at this point, STREP THROAT decided to make an appearance too.

Apparently, though, I'm in good company - Marilyn Manson just got swine flu. Yay us, I guess.

So what's it like? Well, I didn't die, or end up in hospital, screaming whilst my body was eaten away from the inside and then my stomach exploded like - wait. That's a different movie. Never mind.

But honestly, it wasn't really a walk in the park. Four straight days in bed, with the works: fever, headache, sore throat, fatigue, etc. I woke up sweating so many times a night it was like an awful premonition of menopause.

Yesterday was the first day I was well enough to get out of bed. I got to go downstairs! And sit on the couch! Do you have any idea how awesome it is to sit?! On a couch?! (Yes, I am now that pathetic. Shut up. I'm not allowed out of the house until Saturday. BABY STEPS, PEOPLE.)

By swine flu standards, I think I got a pretty average dose, but the strep throat probably added a bit to it. Judging by the internet, I seem to have done better than this guy, although he at least got Tamiflu. I got told by my doctor that "we don't get excited unless you have underlying problems... Fit [ha!] young adults like you are fine." And thankfully, I avoided the vomiting and diarrhea that apparently are symptoms (but I sure feel sorry for this girl, who apparently was not so lucky). So, you know, it sucks, but I guess it could be worse. I like this guy's attitude.

Unless half of the United States gets sick before the end of the year, which the White House is predicting. That could end up as a lot of sick days. Or, more likely, a lot of people in the office hacking up a lung, and swearing they're not infectious. Fun times ahead, folks!

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